Journalists’ nightmare – a slow news day
Feeding the beast
Maybe I shouldn’t complain. With the drumbeat of truly awful news stories of late – the debate debacle, the Supreme Court turning the president into a king, the Iowa Supreme Court taking away reproductive rights – maybe it’s not such a bad thing to have a few slow news days over the 4th of July.
But I still hate them. Every journalist loves those days when things are happening so fast that you can feel in your bones that folks can’t wait to read what you’ve written. Slow news days are the opposite. They’re painful. Why? Because we still have to “feed the beast.” There’s still a newspaper front page that requires copy. The 6 o’clock TV news still needs a lead story and lots of other stories to separate the commercials.
I had to chuckle yesterday morning when I awoke to the Des Moines Register print edition’s lead story.
(This is where all good journalists pause to hum the ABC News Nightline theme song. Bom-bom-BOM-bom!)
The top headline: “Mimosa refills are no longer illegal”.
What the? I realize it’s the day after the Fourth of July, but that’s the most important story of the day? Apparently, West Des Moines decided to legalize bottomless mimosas and other cocktails even though no one realized they were illegal!
I was ready for a bottomless mimosa myself when I checked out a few other news websites’ top stories:
KCCI: “Hundreds end Fourth of July in Waukee with day filled with fun, skydivers and fireworks”
WHO TV: “Campers at Cherry Glen continue the Independence Day celebrations” and “July 4th means family and food at Ledges State Park”
The Des Moines Register website led with two college football stories, plus these headlines: “Faces in the Crowd: Urbandale’s Fourth of July” and this Pulitzer-in-waiting: “Des Moines’ beach bar is open. What to know about Broadway Beach House”. (Admit it. All you really want to know is if they serve bottomless drinks.)
The bad thing for journalists about slow news days – particularly holidays – is, first of all, you have to work! When everyone else is enjoying picnics and fireworks, you’re out there trying to find news that anyone cares about but all you end up covering is picnics and fireworks. And no one wants to even read stories about OTHER people enjoying picnics and fireworks.
Meaningless stories…
That got me thinking about meaningless stories I hated to cover. For example, a visit of the First Lady to a local school. The First Lady is in town for only one reason – to get lots of publicity while doing everything in her power to avoid saying anything that might be construed as actual news.
I also hated covering Miss America when she came to town. I could never think of a legitimate question to ask. What’s it like being so beautiful? No, better not. Was it hard learning to twirl a baton? No, not that one either. Bom-bom-BOM-bom!
Former Cedar Rapids anchor Amy Johnson told me her least favorite stories included the annual “the city has enough salt for the first snowfall of the season” live shot. Her all-time least favorite involved the 4th of July live shot. “No matter how well we tried to time it, the fireworks were never live when I was. Leaving me to stand and stall for an eternity with promises of big excitement – only to have a big, black sky behind me. Awkward!”
Stupid, useless stories
Former KCCI-TV anchor Kevin Cooney recalls, not fondly, breathless live shots about business openings, like when Des Moines got its first Starbucks. He said, “It was almost the second coming of Christ when Krispie Kreme opened in Clive!”
Cooney says, “My all-time favorite for useless, stupid stories was the LIVE coverage of the grand opening of ‘the largest Quik Trip convenience store in West Des Moines.’ I mean, if it’s a large convenience store, doesn’t that just make it a grocery store? Would we cover the grand opening of the smallest Fareway?”
We might, if it happened on the 4th of July.
This holiday weekend, sit back and enjoy your mimosa and fireworks. But don’t forget all those hard-working journalists out there busting their hump trying to find real news for you, and trying to remember why they decided to get into this line of work to begin with.
An announcement: Some of the journalists in the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative who specialize in political coverage are going to get together a couple of times a month to discuss the latest news leading up to the November election. I’m delighted to join with smart folks like Bob Leonard, Laura Belin, Ed Tibbets, Doug Burns, Barry Piatt, Dave Price, Julie Gammack, Dennis Goldford, Ty Rushing, Art Cullen, Dana James and sometimes, from the Iowa Capitol Dispatch, Kathie Obradovich.
It’s a good group. We’ll kick it off next week. Julie Gammack is asking for your help to pay for it all. Details here.
Here’s the growing list of IWC writers:
Great piece, Dave! Fun to wake up to. Better than Trump’s latest series of lies, or the avoidance of legal consequences of his illegal acts, or his newest assault on democracy, or the fear we feel if he were to reoccupy the Oval Office, or any number of other unbelievable articles about his Republican supporters who know better, especially those who called him out and now express admiration. Much easier to wake up to a journalist’s nightmare, than a Trump one.
No news? A chance to create some humor. Good morning and thank you. I miss our Friday face offs. May we will have some GOOD news to read together soon. Barb