31 Comments

No news? A chance to create some humor. Good morning and thank you. I miss our Friday face offs. May we will have some GOOD news to read together soon. Barb

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Filling 90 minutes yesterday was a struggle, Barb. I read the bottomless mimosa story and it was all I could do not to giggle through the whole thing.

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Great piece, Dave! Fun to wake up to. Better than Trump’s latest series of lies, or the avoidance of legal consequences of his illegal acts, or his newest assault on democracy, or the fear we feel if he were to reoccupy the Oval Office, or any number of other unbelievable articles about his Republican supporters who know better, especially those who called him out and now express admiration. Much easier to wake up to a journalist’s nightmare, than a Trump one.

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This is a scream! Especially since I’m having a bit of a slow-news stretch myself. Not a lot going on on the restaurant scene this week!

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Maybe but we went to Hugo’s this week because of your preview and enjoyed it.

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When it's a really slow news day, I find myself begrudgingly having to use filler press releases from the State Treasurer's and Sec. of State's Office'. I don't like covering RAGBRAI (insert required Registered Trademark here lol), and will do everything I can to pawn it off on someone else. And honestly, how many stories can one fill time with on Independence Day, ranging from "How to cook safely so your guests don't get food poisoning," to "How not to blow-off your fingers," and the oldie but goodie: "Safe boating tips (or, don't man the helm when you're drunk)." Love your comments, Dave! Keep 'em coming. :)

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Ah, the “don’t do dumb stuff” stories. Of course, if people didn’t do dumb stuff we wouldn’t have much left to cover.

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😂 LOL. I read aloud to Judy with many pauses for guffaws! Well done 👍🙏

I needed the laugh! I've spent portions of the last couple of days examining structures to celebrate our country 's 250th. It was prompted by an NPR story on either the 3rd or the 4th 🤔

Led to way too serious questions! Will we have a country by July 4th of 2026? Or more accurately, what will this country look like?

We are so polarized, will we be able to have a shared celebration? Does anybody give?

I turned on PBS NewsHour while I was cooking last evening, knowing that I would get some good coverage. I recall thinking about 20 minutes in - "these are stories are boring!" Thanks to your post, I've had good laughs and I understand that some days are tough news days 🙏. Mimosa anyone?

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Better to laugh than cry, Gene. Happy 4th!

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Slow news days. Yes. We’ve all endured them. That’s many news organizations save “evergreen” stories for just such holidays—features produced weeks before that are entertaining but not time relevant. You can print or broadcast them anytime—especially on slow news days.

Clarification needed: Yes, the debate was a disaster. No, the Supreme Court (SCOTUS) did not make the president King. It correctly ruled that all presidents—present and future (NOT only Mr. Trump) have qualified immunity to do their job without fear. That’s how it should be. Unfortunately, too much media attention has been on the former president rather that the truth in the 119 pages. Anyone who reads the entire 119 page ruling as I did, will understand that. Happy Independence Day weekend.

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The A. H. Blank birthday party was one of the worst assignments of all. Mr. Blank was a very nice man and a "Des Moines fixture", but covering his birthday party was one of those "you have to do it because . . . " Fortunately when I went to radio, we did not cover such things. Mr. Blank may have been dead by that time, as well.

In radio, we would work diligently to set aside some stories for holidays and weekends. There were always good items from the Cost Conscious Clive City Council of the 1970s, as well as previews of what the Des Moines City Council (the greatest show in Des Moines on Monday nights) might do.

To quote Jim Boyd, news director at WHO Radio when I returned there on a part-time basis, "Something to move the needles."

Great set of observations. Thank you for sharing.

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His death likely ruined the string of stories about his birthday!

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Recent Register stories include every which way to list the top 10 restaurants in central Iowa - top 1- best burger - best tenderloin - best new restaurants in May - best drive-thru restaurants - best carry-out restaurants - best buffets - best Asian restaurants - best restaurants that serve hot food - best restaurants that serve cold food - best restaurants that serve a choice of hot and cold food - best restaurants that serve food...the list goes on.

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You left out pizza! I can only assume those stories generate lots of online clicks. Yesterday’s print edition had a story with a link to click on. Obviously a cut and paste from the online version, but nobody looked at it before sending it to the printer.

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Stupid me. Yes, of course - best red sauce, best white sauce, best Detroit style, best Chicago style, best Quad Cities style (really?). And you are right, people love to read about what they eat and the multitude of variations offered. Bon appetit.

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Dave…..This is funny stuff…..Do this more often!

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Thanks! We could all use a laugh these days.

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you could always ask Miss America which was colder - the Trump hand or the Trump heart.

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Trump owned Miss Universe, Mark, but I take your point. I’m sure he had no trouble coming up with inappropriate things to say to the women.

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I'm not a journalist, but I ALWAYS like to read your observations. I LOVED this one!!! You are a gem!

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Thanks, Mimi. That’s so kind of you!

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I get occasional nightmares (45 years after the fact) about trying to fill hours at a time of all-news radio on holidays. Thanks for the memories, Dave!

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I remember the day I visited you in NYC! It was the first time this South County boy visited New York. Surely no slow news days in the big city, right?

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Ha! Maybe not to the level of bottomless drinks leading the show or being on the front page, but I'm sure we had the equivalent!

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I remember we met for dinner in the Apple in the later 70s.Good years!

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Wednesday before Thanksgiving at the Des Moines Airport is always riveting.

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Always a predictable and boring story.

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Back in the day, there was a press flack in Bob Ray’s office who came up with the governor and first lady hosting a lot of single, elderly folks for a sit-down Thanksgiving dinner at the governor’s residence. Made the lede on 10 o’clock news. Had to love those slow news days. As the old saying goes: Tis an ill wind that blows nobody any good. Loved your column, Dave!

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And bury bad news late on a Friday afternoon, right?

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Bottomless mimosas. Under the heading ‘News you can use’?

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Thanks for a good chuckle!

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