Should journalists interview grieving families?

Many times families are eager to talk about their loved one

(My apologies for the second column in two days. I aim for once per week so as not to overburden your in-box. But this felt like it needed to be written.)

The school shooting in Perry raises an important question for journalists. Should they reach out to the families of those killed and injured and ask for interviews? And if the answer is yes, how should they contact the families and what guidelines should they follow?

Photo collage by Canva

I believe there is merit in asking families to talk about their loved ones. Not all families will wish to do so, and if a family declines, the reporter should respect their wishes and leave them alone. This is not the time for persistence.

But many times, the families do want to do an interview and discuss their loved ones. I learned during coverage of the first Gulf War that reporters could approach families respectfully and ask about a family member who had died serving our country. More times than not, families were not only willing but eager to talk about their family member. I could only guess as to why. Perhaps media coverage somehow validated the sacrifice their family had made. Perhaps the families enjoyed talking about all the good their loved one had done. Sometimes it’s cathartic just to talk about grief.

I realize there’s a difference between a loss on a battlefield and a victim of a senseless crime, but over the years, our newsroom interviewed many crime victim families who wanted to use the media to let the community know what they were going through.

The shooter certainly is getting his share of publicity, so why not the families he hurt? Now that we’ve heard his name and seen his face, it would be fine with me if news reports dropped it from here on out and just referred to him as “the shooter.”

Guidelines

There are several ways reporters can respectfully approach families. Often, contact can be made through an intermediary, such as a pastor, who might be better equipped to ask the family if they wish to be interviewed. Police public information officers can sometimes contact the family on behalf of the media. If those avenues don’t exist, it’s okay to call the family or even knock on the door. But as I said above, if the family declines, it’s time for the reporter to say thank you and walk away. Reporters are trained to not take no for an answer, but this is not such an occasion.

Some reporters are better at it than others. They have the ability to talk to families in a caring, sensitive way. The old made-for-TV-movie trope about crass reporters shoving a camera and microphone in a family member’s face and shouting, “How do you feel?” doesn’t really exist anymore, if it ever did.

Normally, I’m not comfortable agreeing to ground rules for an interview. If a newsmaker says, “don’t ask me about this” or “I don’t want talk about that”, we usually walk away from the interview.

But when interviewing family members of victims, it’s perfectly fine to let the families dictate what they’re comfortable talking about and what’s off limits. Good reporters will respect those limits.

Understanding the true cost

If done properly, the stories can be compelling. Sad. Visceral. On occasion, surprisingly uplifting. It’s exactly what journalists should do – report as best they can on the impact of a 17-year-old with a gun on innocent people. Doing live shots outside Perry High School and interviewing police only goes so far. Our community – and our leaders will be better equipped to find solutions to school shootings if they understand the true cost. If they see the faces of a family who lost their 6^th grader to violence and they hear the voices of a family helping a loved one recover from multiple gunshot wounds, they will better understand the true cost of our current approach to guns and school shootings. Whatever we’re doing now is not working. It needs to change.

The families can use the media to communicate their sorrow. But it’s up to our leaders to listen and do something about it.

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Thank you for supporting the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative, bringing Iowans perspectives from across the state at a time when traditional media is reducing editorial voices.

Nicole Baart: This Stays Here, Sioux Center

Ray Young Bear: From Red Earth Drive, Meskwaki Settlement

Laura Belin: Iowa Politics with Laura Belin, Windsor Heights

Tory Brecht: Brecht’s Beat, Quad Cities

Doug Burns: The Iowa Mercury, Carroll

Dave Busiek: Dave Busiek on Media, Des Moines

Iowa Writers’ Collaborative, Roundup

Steph Copley: It Was Never a Dress, Johnston

Art Cullen: Art Cullen’s Notebook, Storm Lake

Suzanna de Baca: Dispatches from the Heartland, Huxley

Debra Engle: A Whole New World, Madison County

Arnold Garson: Second Thoughts, Okoboji and Sioux Falls

Julie Gammack: Julie Gammack’s Iowa Potluck, Des Moines and Okoboji

Joe Geha: Fern and Joe, Ames

Jody Gifford: Benign Inspiration, West Des Moines

Rob Gray: Rob Gray’s Area, Ankeny

Nik Heftman: The Seven Times, Los Angeles and Iowa

Beth Hoffman: In the Dirt, Lovilia

Chris Jones, Chris’s Substack, Des Moines

Pat Kinney: View from Cedar Valley, Waterloo

Fern Kupfer: Fern and Joe, Ames

Robert Leonard: Deep Midwest: Politics and Culture, Bussey

Letters from Iowans, Iowa

Darcy Maulsby: Keepin’ It Rural, Calhoun County

Tar Macias: Hola Iowa, Iowa

Alison McGaughey, The Inquisitive Quad Citizen, Quad Cities

Kurt Meyer: Showing Up, St. Ansgar

Vicki Minor, Relatively Minor, Winterset

Wini Moranville: Wini’s Food Stories, Des Moines

Jeff Morrison: Between Two Rivers, Cedar Rapids

Kyle Munson: Kyle Munson’s Main Street, Des Moines

Jane Nguyen: The Asian Iowan, West Des Moines

John Naughton: My Life, in Color, Des Moines

Chuck Offenburger: Iowa Boy Chuck Offenburger, Jefferson and Des Moines

Barry Piatt: Piatt on Politics Behind the Curtain, Washington, D.C.

Dave Price: Dave Price’s Perspective, Des Moines

Macey Shofroth: The Midwest Creative, Norwalk

Larry Stone: Listening to the Land, Elkader

Mary Swander: Mary Swander’s Buggy Land, Kalona

Mary Swander: Mary Swander’s Emerging Voices, Kalona

Cheryl Tevis: Unfinished Business, Boone County

Ed Tibbetts: Along the Mississippi, Davenport

Kali White VanBaale, 988: Mental Healthcare in Iowa, Bondurant

Teresa Zilk: Talking Good, Des Moines

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